I have been asked if I really did write these absence notes to Mr Wood. The answer is "Yes, I really did," and lived to regret it, as I had created a rod for my own back.
I had tried to buck the system with this latest offering, which I originally penned out as a straightforward, three-lined note. My sharp-eyed son, however, was having none of it.
"You've got to write it in verse."
"Oh," I replied breezily, "I really don't think that's necessary. After all, it's not an absence note, it's a 'sorry for not doing my homework' note.
"You've still got to write it in verse, or I'll get a detention."
"I'm not doing it, Giles ..."
I did it.
UNFINISHED HOMEWORK
Dear Mr. Wood,
Smart came home from double games, at half past six tonight.
Battered and dispirited, a pretty sorry sight.
Slumped across the table, with little careworn face.
He withdrew the pile of school books that lay within his case.
The dinner that I proffered, he must stoically decline,
For "No! He'd loads of homework, and was far too tired to dine".
His performance, whilst denoting, nothing untoward,
Would have earned a lesser actor, an Academy Award.
Still, in fairness and in resumé, at least, he had a go,
Though he couldn't do his homework, since he fell asleep, and so,
Whilst simulating sorrow,
He'll finish it tomorrow.
Yours sincerely,
Maggie Smart
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