Apparently, he'd been given a 500 word essay for cutting assembly and hiding in the toilet block. The subject of the essay was 'Paper Holes.'
The worst of it was, as I learnt by word of mouth from my son, that I had been invited (ordered) to join in this pleasantry and produce a poetic masterpiece.
How many blasted things could you say about 'Paper Holes?'
PAPER HOLES
Holes in paper, paper holes,
Lacking in substance, devoid of souls,
Seldom, if ever, made by moles,
And less than often formed by voles.
Beloved by the master, who sometimes doles.
Out essays, entitled "Paper Holes".
Abhorred by the scholars, whose ultimate goals,
Have nothing to do with "Paper Holes"
Teachers and scholars, at separate poles,
All enacting different roles,
United only by "Paper Holes",
In essay-form, heaped, like coals,
On miserable little schoolboy shoals,
And "Therefore never send to know, for whom the (school) bell tolls,
It tolls for thee", O bearer, of the poem on paper holes.
Maggie Smart
With apologies to John Donne for borrowing his words
“and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”
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