Whilst incarcerated in Ely State Prison, Bill undertook a rigorous program of self transformation. This, he successfully achieved through years of intensive study, daily meditations / self examination and the complicated process of neuroplasticity.
In future postings, I shall cover Bill’s extraordinary journey into his own mind. You will be intrigued.
In the meantime, here is one of Bill’s memos to his former self.
“It’s been many years since you embarked on a path of destruction plotted as a kind of retribution. You are smart now. You don’t have to hurt others in order to add some twisted delusion that you are above humankind. I know, tragically, years ago, it provided you with the sense of self that you could not extract from your horrific childhood. But you slayed that dragon! You intercepted your violent tendencies and haven’t so much as harmed a fly in 22 years. You have matured both emotionally and intellectually. Moreover, you found ‘cure’ for the propensities and have even written and published a book about your transformation. Well done! Leave the Old Bill Leonard in the dust. The New Bill Leonard is emotionally healthy! Emotional health is an individual matter and difficult to define but I believe for someone to be emotionally healthy, they should be able to work and to love. By ‘work’ is meant productivity in structured activity, and by ‘love’ is included emotional and sexual demonstrations of affection.
Continue your work and love, you healthy guy!”
Bill Leonard
Part of Bill’s transformation included the art of ‘acceptance’ which he touched on briefly in the following lines, extracted from one of his early letters.
“I accept that I will never again experience the beauties of nature, or enjoy conviviality with my fellow man. I will die in prison. This is my life. Make the best of it, even on death row. Maintain a positive attitude. Choose your friends wisely. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Adapt, adjust and improvise. Keep on your current trajectory - you are doing well.”
Bill Leonard
Finally, a poem, entitled Society's Solution, that I dedicated to Bill. He was greatly touched.
SOCIETY'S SOLUTION
In that turbulent game called Life, Bill’s childhood was wholly corrupted,
With the dice loaded against him, he walked on the dark side, uninterrupted.
Battered, bruised, sexually abused
Ruthlessly defiled – viciously reviled.
How could you provide an escape from the mean streets for such a lad?
Who had no mentors to set boundaries twixt good and bad,
There was no one to care if he self-harmed,
Nor to show concern or be alarmed
When his behaviour spiraled out of control,
And My Lady Narcotics took the central role.
His teenage years were riven by drink, drugs and nicotine,
Demons and monsters assailed him, menacing yet unseen.
But Society had the solution, and in the guise of civilization,
Required that he should suffer 30 years of deep privation,
In solitary confinement, and before his final breath,
As a grand finale, they would put this man to death.
Society has set the price that he's compelled to pay,
They forget that, when he needed them, they looked the other way.
But Bill's already paid the price, with all that he could give,
And this should be the reason why Bill's allowed to live.
Maggie Smart
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