As Time Goes By

If I had to have a condition, and had a choice as to what that condition should be, I would have opted for one of those Victorian, malingering types of ailment which rendered it necessary to look pale and beautiful, whilst languishing on a chaise longue.

I would be willowy and interesting.

I would write soulful poetry.

I don't think that Parkinson's would have had a look in, but since I was landed with it, I decided to make an action plan.

ACTION PLAN

(On being diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease)

I’d decided that the best thing to do with this Parkinson’s was to file it under ‘P’

In my list of ‘personal ailments’

And then? As time goes by - well, wait and see.

It would appear in a slot between ‘M’ for malaria

(nothing scarier)

And ‘T’ for tonsillectomy

(which had had very little effect on me).

The only entry under ‘N’ was the occasional neurosis.

‘P’ was conveniently vacant,

I hadn’t owned a parrot and had never contracted psittacosis

I wondered idly if ‘leg waxing’ could be entered under ‘L’

Whilst it wasn’t exactly an ailment

It hurt like hell.

Maggie Smart